Painter's block.

Wow, I just read an Artbyte on Dailypaintworks.com. I am not suffering from painters block right now, I actually am wrapped up in a painting I am working on. However, I have many painter's block bouts before.

Finally, reading that I didn't feel alone with this. Other painters have days where they feel that they suck at art just as much as i do. Anyway this is my take on artist block.

Oddly enough I don't always recognize the signs of having painter's block. I just feel that i suck at painting, serious complete doubt on my ability to paint the white canvas white. And i sit there and tell myself, i suck i suck i suck. Many days its when i'm like eh, do i wanna paint? hmm i should. Got nothin' better to do.... fine. So i get all my paint out, squirt way too much on my palette and then sit there. Putting off painting. Music not right. Feeling bad about ignoring the dog. whatever. I eventually start painting and hate it, re-do it, hate it. Doubt myself, re-do it. Hate it. Finally i ask myself, do i really want to paint today. NOPE.

There is a very fine line for us, when to push ourselves, when to give up on a painting, and when the painting needs time to marinate in its own little paint juices and develop. I struggle with it.

Painting for me relies on my mood. I have had a very hard time a few months ago. I am starting to bounce back. But I felt that I NEEDED, HAD, was SUPPOSED to keep painting, keep being creative and I just didn't want to. I forced a painting or two, and through six or seven in the trash.

I have a lot of commissions that I am supposed to be working on, and I felt I should push them out. Get them done, show that I am responsible. Which they will get done on time, but rationally I know I need to have days where I paint what i want, how long i want, and with all the freedom i can allow myself in order to stay in love with my studio.